What You Pay for is What You Get! Sr.

THE GORILLA AND THE REDNECK

A small zoo in West Virginia obtained a very rare species of gorilla.Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee,like most rednecks,had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a=2 0'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed."

And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.

Gun Control in America

Don't care who you are or what you believe in, this is funny.


GUN CONTROL
Barack Obama at a recent city elementary school assembly in Richmond , Virginia ,
asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence,
he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone,

'Children, every time I clap my hands together,
a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Tyrone Washington, with a proud Richmond , Virginia , drawl, pierced the quiet and said:
" Well, Dumb Ass, Stop Clapping!'

New Pipes

Never Take Our Freedom for Granted!

Sometimes we take our Freedom for Granted, until we are reminded with a picture like this. My thoughts and prayers are with our troops that are abroad. God Bless the men and women that put their lives on the line everydaysd

Ok, this is enough...

Wanna fix shit real quick? Total isolationism...we should immediately
adopt a policy of total economic isolationism...we have roughly 3 times
the amount of natural gas here in the US than the entire middle east has
in oil...we should stop importation of all fuel, AND exportation of all
food...this should fix shit pretty quick...Chinese doesn't want to
forgive debts? Fuck 'em, they can starve...Japan & Germany can't manage
their own national defense? Fuck 'em, they can learn a new language
when they are overtaken...N. Korea wants to keep testing nukes? Fuck
'em - blow their shit off the map...I'm personally fed up with the daily
neutering of the US as the world's superpower on the international
stage...America? When will you wake up?

The Big Decision

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you
probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but.....
something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is,
your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it..'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new
willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But
the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide
how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with
your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to
go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine
inch one befo re,and you decide only to invest in a five incher this
time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role
in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next
day.'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite countertops.'

New Baskin Robbins Flavor

In honor of the 44th President of the United States…Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: "Barocky Road." Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you. You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

Evolution & Sin Tax

Hello again to all the faithful followers…I know it's been a bit quiet over the past month, as I've been pre-occupied with other things…don't let my lack of rhetoric on here discourage you that I've been silenced or lost motivation to be heard…nothing could be further from the truth. The only reason I'm writing at this moment is that I'm so damn tired, I'm just trying to keep my eyes open waiting for 5 o'clock to roll around…



EVOLUTION

Wow, believe it or not, there is still a tremendous amount of debate over this topic, and I don't really regard it as that important a topic. There's lots of reasons of why, I kinda blow this off, but I figured I might possible be able to talk some sense into some people and possibly diffuse it a bit. Ok, first off – we have the militant, right wing Christians ADAMANT that creationism should be taught in school, and that evolution is an abomination. I have to kinda smirk a little bit, because while I appreciate the fervor and passion of my more uptight brothers and sisters, I do not for one second believe that it's cause for disdain. Let say for example, we all did come from monkeys (and I saw someone today that made me almost believe this without question)…even if we did all evolve from monkey's – that doesn't explain creation…how the hell did the monkey get here? Who made the monkey…the molecules, the goo, the blob of cells that morphed into the complex organisms that we are all made of? It had to start somewhere, and people need to get the fuck off their high horse about it about the two being mutually exclusive. It seems to me the only people who are insecure about the issue are the athiest's and the Christians…but not God…the thing is we really DON'T know…I would propose that we evolved from pigs…I think we are closer genetically to pigs than monkey's anyways…which is why the swine flu is so easily transmitted between humans and pigs (thanks for the Ag lesson on that one Cameron)…



SIN TAX

So, here in Texas, there's been a lot of talk about the strip clubs not paying the 'optional' state imposed tax on the cover charges of their patrons…especially with the recent economic issues plaguing the country and government agencies everywhere…Titty-club owners are holding fast that the additional tax would essentially put them outta their business…Then, there's cigarettes…a pack of smokes costs me almost $6.50…it's fucking stupid…however, it does seem to be apparent to me that the Sin Tax in and of it's many forms is an attempt to control me, my life, and the choices I make about how to live it. For example, say I want to eat bacon every day of the week, for every meal. It's not good for me, so why label the eating of bacon a Sin Tax and then proceed to tax the ever living fuck outta me for eathing bacon? Here's another one…dildo's…we should impose a sales tax on dildo's…now, there's a Sin Tax that I agree with, because I think that dildo's are evil and that they are robbing married men of their sexual fulfillment across this country – and that's a sin if I've ever heard one…I mean really, would we be hurting? I mean, we are taking the strip clubs right? And that's primarily for men…so why not the dildo's which is primarily for women? I say fuck yeah, go for it…screw 'em…masturbation is a sin too, right? Of course I'm being facetious here, but it's merely to illustrate a point. Why the hell is the government dictating morality? Isn't that a function of the church? I mean, besides the federal government, aren't church's the next powerful entity in this country – excuse me, the church's aren't bankrupt, so shouldn't they be top billing on establishing morality? I honestly didn't know the federal government cared so much about me…unless…



INCOME GENERATOR

Ok, I might getting somewhere now…that's a thought…why would the federal government care so much about my well being…I propose that they don't…I think they just want to tax the ever living hell outta us and control as much of our lives as they possibly can…whether I can smoke or not…whether my vehicle puts out poisonous CO2 emissions…fuck, I breathe out poisonous CO2 emissions…will there be an impeding tax on my carbon footprint for simply breathing? See, I really believe that the government views us as income generator's because we pay the taxes…everytime I turn around there's some other damn new tax on stuff, and I'm really fed up with it….the douchebag president has already spent us into oblivion with no hope of ever digging out in my life time…I mean, shit…game over…I really hope that the pendulum swings back the other way and soon…it's really upsetting to watch our country get weaker and weaker at the hands of this egotistical, arrogant, liberal, radical DOUCHEBAG that got elected into office….



In the words of Rush….How's the Hope and Change working out for you guys?

Joe has recommended that you check out an audiobook on iTunes

You gotta read or audiobook this book...one of the best books i've ever read...i found it on iTunes... The Shack: Special Edition (Unabridged) William P. Young Release Date: Jul 01, 2008 Genre: Fiction ℗ 2008 Oasis Audio

I can't wait to see this movie...you gotta watch the whole trailer...